THE IMPORTANCE OF REGISTERING WITH THE PADRÓN

When you move to Spain, one of the first things that you are recommended to do paperwork wise is to register with the Padrón at your town hall. A lot of people can't be bothered, as you can get by without doing it. You have to register, but no one is going to start knocking on your door to see if you have done it or not.

But then something happens, like the fires that we experience every summer in the area where I lived. And people start complaining that there are not enough firefighters within the town to help with fire extinction, and that houses have been lost, etc. 

The answer is very simple: each town is equipped with the resources that they need based on the number of people registered as living there. If you live in a town/city and do not registered with the padrón as a citizen of that town/city they don't count you, which means the provision for firefighters, doctors, ambulances, local police, funding for the town hall, etc, will based on the actual number of citizens registered. 

In other words, if a town has only 5.000 people registered as living there but in reality there is 10.000, they will only have resources for 5.000, which means they won't be able to cover all needs for all citizens.

Picture from: https://zamoranews.com/provinciazamora/comarcas/item/1089-nuevo-camion-autobomba-paque-bomberos-bermillo

If you dont do your part and register with your padrón then you shouldnt complain about the lack of services. It is totally down to you. 

So PLEASE!, register with your local town/city hall padrón office to prevent disasters like this summer's fires.

WHAT TO DO IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY

There are times when you are in a dire situation and you need help. Everybody should be aware of the main emergency telephone numbers here in Spain. This is a small list of the most useful ones. Then each town/area will have their own for firefighters, local police, etc, but if you don't know those, you should call the main emergency line and they will patch you throught:

• Emergency (any kind of emergency): 112
• Guardia Civil: 062
• Policia Nacional/National Police: 091
• Sanitary emergency/emergencia sanitaria: 061
• Help line for women under duress, gender violence/violencia contra la mujer: 016
• Firefighters/bomberos: 080
• Emergency Local Police/Policia local emergencias (it will give you your local police number): 092

But in case of emergency, if you don't know what to do please call 112

LEARNING THE LINGO: BE CAREFUL WITH "FALSE FRIENDS" WORDS

After deciding to relocate to Spain many people decides to start learning the language too, so they can mix with the locals. And this is very advisable. 

Learning Spanish might feel a bit daunting, mainly because our way of learning the language is based in knowing grammar, and that can be tricky.

But also you need to be careful, as there are many words that are similar in English and Spanish and you can "make" them Spanish straight away, such us:

Potential = Potencial

Intention = Intención

Occassion = Ocasión

But there are others that sound very similar and you will be tempting to make them Spanish and you will end up saying something that you shouldn't, or just that the exact translation can't be used as it has a different meaning in English than Spanish. A few  very funny examples:

- To be embarrased = estar avergonzado. 

However people tend to say in Spanish "estoy muy embarazado/a". What you are really saying is that you are very pregnant. It is even funnier if the person saying it is a man!

- To be hot = tener calor

But be careful! If you look on the dictionary "hot" translates as "caliente". In Spanish if you say "Estoy muy caliente"  you are not saying that you are very hot, you are saying that you are very horny, which is not exactly the same. If you are hot you need to say "tengo calor", or if the weather is very hot then you say "hace mucho calor"

- Carpet = Alfombra, Vacuum = pasar la aspirodora. 
So if you are planning to vacuum the carpet, please do not say "voy a vacunar la carpeta" as what you would be really saying is "I am going to vaccinate to the folder"
Carpeta = Folder, Vacunar = to vaccinate.

- Preservatives = Conservantes

Please do not confuse it with "preservativo" = "condom". Imagine that you are dictating a recipe to someone and you would like to tell them what you use to preserve the food, but what you are really telling them is to put a condom on the food ... I don't think anybody is going to ask you for a recipe ever again.

- Card = tarjeta, as in credit card. Do not confuse it with Carta as that means letter. Also do not confuse "letter" with "letra" as that means the actual letters of the alphabet or writing.

So your credit card is not your carta de crédito. "Carta de crédito" actually means that your bank is lending you money!

And what you receive in the post are "cartas", not "letras"

 Copyright: Alban.Beg

- To choke = ahogarse.

Not to be confused with "chocar" or "to crash". If you are choking on your food, or with water you are "ahogandote", you are not "chocando", as you will be saying that you are crashing against something. It will be bad enough to be choking, you don't want to also be crashing!

- Delito = Crime, Delight = Delicia

If you would like to report a crime, please do not tell the police that you are there to report a "delicia". They might not take you seriously.

- To stretch = estirar, alargar. 

Again, my daughter when she wants to say "these trousers stretch" she says "estos pantalones estrechan"

Estrechar = narrow, to make it smaller. So instead of telling me the trousers can become bigger, what she is telling me is that the trousers are getting smaller, so I think we need to go shopping!

- Grocery = tienda de comestibles. 

However "Groseria" = rudeness, coarseness, impoliteness. 

If you are on and about on the street and ask someone "¿dónde está la grosería más cercana por favor?" do not get surprised if you get a bad answer, as you will be asking "where is the closest rude, impolite, crude, coar place, please?"

- Rope = cuerda. Ropa = clothes

If you are sailing and you need a rope, do not say "pásame la ropa", as your sailor might give you his clothes and get naked.

This are just some examples, but I am sure you have encounter plenty more. I would love to hear them!

THE JOURNEY TO HAPPINESS

I have lived in many places in my life, in Madrid, Bilbao, Barcelona, Basingstoke, Bristol, Sabinillas, Toledo, Ronda, Huelva, and possibly someplace else that I cant remember now.

I have moved twice to UK and twice back to Spain. I know quite a bit about the difficulties of starting over in a new place, making new friends, getting used to the place, dealing with bureaucracy (which by the way is bad in every country, not just in Spain), learning a new language, trying to understand Spanish in different parts of Spain (gosh, it can be quite tricky these one), so I would say I was cut off for this job. 

I started recently the new adventure of being a Relocation Agent, which basically means I help people with anything and everything related with their move in order to make the whole journey as stress free as possible.

And what I have realised is how different we are. And I dont mean Spanish vs English. I mean families in general. What I think is normal is strange for other people. There are so many different needs to be covered, so many things to think about that I had never considered before just because I live in another way.

I am proud to say that it is possible to put all differences aside and work and live together. Because there is something that unites us all: we all want what is best for our families and loved ones. So, it doesnt matter what other people tell you, if you think it is right for you and your family you ought to try it.

Nobody is saying it will be easy, or pretty, and you might not even like it. But if you dont try you will never know.

Just do it and be happy. I know I am. And I want the same for you.

The rest of your life starts today!

BE REALISTIC WITH YOUR BUDGET

I know that on a previous post I told you that it is paramount that you research the area first and start looking at properties online after, but now I am going to tell you to do the opposite. And it is not because I have totally lost it, it is all due to you being conscious of what can you get for your budget on the area that you would like to buy.

It is very important that you are realistic about what can you actually do with your budget. How many times have you been watching A Place in the Sun on telly, and they are showing an amazing property right on the town where you would like to buy, with a zillion rooms, and a gazillion bathrooms, with private pool and garden, 5 minutes’ walk from the beach and amenities. All for a stupidly low amount of money. And you find yourself thinking: I can buy that! I have exactly that budget! How lucky am I?!

But you fail to realize that the program was recorded in 2013, when prices were rock bottom in Spain and the £££ was really strong comparing with €€€. Circumstances have changed a lot, and so have the market, which means that nowadays it is more difficult to find bargains, and although you are still able to make a cheeky offer, it will not be so easily accepted as before.

Once someone asked me if I could help them find a townhouse or villa with 4 bedrooms, private garden, no more than 5 minutes’ walk from the beach, pet friendly, in Marbella and their budget was 100.000€. After a quick peak at the market I had to inform them than a townhouse with those characteristics had a starting price of 225.000€, and that was most definitely not 5 minutes’ from the beach.

So, what I would like for you to do now is the following:

•  Go to any of the property search engines that you can find online (fotocasa, idealista, etc).
• Type the name of your favourite spot, and then on the “extras” area add all that you can from your wish list: number of bedrooms, bathrooms, garden, swimming pool, how close to the beach and amenities, etc.
• Click search.

If the search comes back as “0 properties found” it means that you have some of the following options:

• You might need to up your budget.
• You might need to lower your expectations. I don’t mean you need to make compromises, because that will mean that renouncing to something you will gain something else. In this case you need to review your wish list altogether.
• You might need to change your search to another area of Spain where prices are still low.
• You might need to wait a few years.

Once you have found an area where you can afford to buy, then STOP looking online at properties and START visiting that area. This way you will avoid a lot of disappointment, and potentially some money on visiting trips to areas you are not going to be able to afford.

SPANISH BUREAUCRACY: HOW NOT TO DIE TRYING TO SORT OUT YOUR PAPERWORK

You have finally decided to take the plunge and have found your dream home in the sun, and have decided to make an offer.

In order to buy a house in Spain you need to have a NIE: Número de Identificación de Extranjero (Foreigner Identification Number).

And because you have decided to make a permanent move, you are going to need Residencia.

And because you are becoming self employed you need to register with the Social Security office.

And you need to register yourself and your family with at the GP surgery. Or if you are retired you need to transfer your pensioner health care to the Spanish system.

And then you have to enrol your kids at the local school.

First thing in the morning, you take yourself to the local police station. There nobody speaks English, so it takes you a while to understand that you are at the wrong police station. Local police doesn’t deal with any of those issues, you need to go to the Policía Nacional, which might or not be located in your town.

The following day you go to the closest Policía Nacional station. There you find out that you are unable to do any paperwork because you don’t have an appointment. You request an appointment, and the next available one is in 4 weeks time.

4 weeks later you go back to the Policía Nacional station. And you take with you the documentation that you have read online (on the official website) that you need. Then the funcionario (government employee), which is always a very jolly and approachable person (yeah, right), informs you in very strong terms that you don’t have all that you need. And obviously nobody speaks English, and even if they do it is not good enough and a lot of things get lost in translation.

3 visits later you manage to get your NIE.

Now you can try and register with the Social Security office. And everything starts all over again.

4 visits later, once you have managed to register as autónomo (self employed) with the Social Security, you go back to the Policía Nacional station for your residencia, where again it takes you 4 visits to get all the paperwork done.

And you still have to fight your way through registering with the doctor, the school…

At this point, if you have any hair left, it has gone all white and you are wondering if it was at all a good idea to move to this forsaken country where we love to move papers from one desk to the next.

And you are right. Our bureaucracy sucks (excuse my French).

But everything will be a lot easier (and potentially you will be able to do each formality in just one visit), if you bear in mind certain basic points:

• You are now in Spain, do not expect any public employee to speak English. They do not have to do so as English is not one of the official languages in Spain. If they do it is a bonus, but the onus is on you to know the language or to take someone with you to help you.

• Always ask at the particular office where you are going to do the paperwork which documents THEY want. Because the info on the official website is obscure and subject to interpretation, each office will ask for similar but maybe different things. It doesn’t make sense, I know, but it will save you some trips and irritation to do so.

• Smile, even if you feel like ripping off the funcionario’s head. You need to bear in mind that public government employees are, by default, permanently in a bad mood because someone is making them work, when their actual right in life is to read the newspaper at work and go for breakfast. So, breathe in breathe out and put into practice the British good manners and say please and thank you for everything, like if you were treating with royalty. If you manage to have a good relationship with one funcionario you will be able to go back to him/her forever and will be always helpful to you. Just never go there when your favourite one is on holidays or on a sick leave.

• Patience. A lot. You are now living in a place with a different pace of life. The sooner you get used to it the better, and you will manage to not get mad every 2 minutes.

• Our opening times are sacred. If the place closes at 2 pm, they will close the window on your face, regardless. So be there early and with plenty of time to spare.

• Bring originals and copies OF EVERYTHING, and several copies too. And translate your documents by a sworn translator. And make copies. Of everything.

• Make copies of everything.

• Make copies.

• Oh, and take photocopies of everything with you.

• Positive attitude. Just go everywhere with the mind frame that you are not going to get it done that day. So if you manage to solve everything there and then you will feel so much happier!

• Finally, it is a very good idea to pay some €€€ to someone to do all the paperwork for you, be that your relocation agent, your solicitor, gestor, your cousin or the next door neighbour. That way you will be totally relaxed and will spend your time on what is really important: living your dream.

BEWARE OF THE CULTURAL SHOCK: SOME HINTS ABOUT OUR WAY OF LIVING

Spain is different, we all know that. We behave in a different ways than some of our fellow European countries, and we do and believe certain things that would definitely shock you, mainly if you are British. This is just a brief summary: 

• We are loud. VERY loud. When you come to Spain one of the first things you notice is that there is always a humming noise about. It might take you a while to realize that it is the sound of people talking. Why is it so audible? Several reasons, mainly because we are loud, and because of the good weather. We spend the majority of time outdoors, and we are very sociable people, we always meet in big groups, and we all have something to say, and we need to make ourselves heard, so we raise our voices even more. We are not having an argument, we are not about kill each other, do not worry.

• We are touchy people. We like to invade other people’s personal space. We hug, hold hands, kiss a lot, link arms, we pat each other’s back like there is no tomorrow. We believe that if the table is set for four, you can certainly squeeze another 3 unexpected guests.

• We are a very family orientated country. And by family we don’t mean mum, dad and the kids. You have to include aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, cousins (various degrees), boyfriends and girlfriends of any given relative, the relatives of the any given boyfriend and girlfriend, and so on. So when there is a family gathering you can find yourselves easily with 20 guests. And those family gatherings are not something planned in advanced the majority of the times. It is more like, we were passing by and decided to stop and say hello. Always unannounced, no previous call, no matching agendas 3 weeks in advance. And because we believe you can always find a sit for one more at any table (as explained before), then you end up with a full house. We have a saying “donde comen 4 comen 5”, which means that if there is food for 4 there is food for 5, or 6 or 7 or whichever amount of people that decides to turn up.

• Chickens and rabbits are not pets, are food. So we eat them. If someone is breeding them is because they have full intention to eating them. And tasty they are boy.

• Pets are animals, not people. We love our pets to bits, do not get me wrong. But we believe they belong outdoors, because they are still animals, and they need freedom, space and love. It is not normal to find a dog sleeping in someone’s bed, or even in the bedroom, or even in the living room. And because they live outside you can hear them when they bark. We are used to the noise, so we don’t take notice of it. Animals do not need to be accompanied at all times, what they need is space to be. Different would be to have a dog locked inside an apartment barking all day. That is not good by anybody’s standards.

• Siestas are a myth. What we do is have a break between the morning and the afternoon shift. Which in my opinion is stupid. The majority of people will just rush home to cook lunch, eat as fast as possible, tidy up and wash the dishes and then rush back to work. Instead of resting it feels like a marathon. And it doesn’t make you any more productive in the afternoon. I am all for uninterrupted shifts! We wish we had the time for siesta …

• We like a party more than anything in the world. Any excuse is good for a party. If we have to adopt foreign festivities we are happy to do so, such as Halloween or St Patrick Day. Or maybe just because today is sunny, let’s get together and celebrate it!

• We do not say please and thank you 20 times in any given minute. This might make you think we are rude, which is very far from the truth. Once you start learning Spanish you will realize that please and thank you are implied on the tone of voice and the way that we say things. For example, when ordering something in a bar we do not say “Can I have…?”, we say “I want?” Why? Because the question asked by the waiter is not “What can I get you?” but “What do you want?”.  It is important to know Spanish is order to understand us, not the lingo but the culture.

And I am sure there are plenty more, but you will have to come here and discover them for yourself!